Sunday, November 15, 2009

I have a friend....

I have a friend who was diagnosed with cancer and she thought it would be okay after having surgery.  It turns out that the cancer is in her lymph nodes.  Now, this news has really made me do a lot of thinking.  She is only three years older than I am.  She has a granddaughter the same age as my granddaughter Sienna.

I was telling another friend of mine a month or so ago that I would be happy if I could just live long enough to see my only grandchild married.  Is that asking a lot?  I have been trying to absorb what my friend is going through right now, what her thoughts and feelings might be.  What her decisions will be concerning her treatment.  Right now she is just taking some time, I think, to let all of this sink in.  She has asked her friends to wait awhile.....that we will call us when she is ready to talk.

I can respect that.  It is important that she gets a grip on what this has done to her life in one fell swoop.  I know she is a strong woman.  But I am also sure she is struggling to to get herself back up off the ground after being knocked down so brutally.  What made it worse for her is the fact that she was told it was not in her lymph nodes right before her surgery.

I hope and pray my friend will find the strength to undergo the necessary radiation and chemo that she will need to save her life.  On the other hand,  depending on what the doctors tell her will be the result she may opt out and let nature take its course.

She is a person so full of life and fun.  All of this has been very hard to accept.  Whatever happens, I will support her any way I can.

The thing is though...when you are in your sixties...well it is just hard not to imagine what you would do in the same is a sobering thought.

Well, I just wanted to write about this....I guess writing is a kind of therapy isn't it?


  1. I've lost some very good friends, and been friends with some people who've lost spouses at unseemly ages...Even have been there when some friends lost children. Any loss is unjust, and unthinkable. And even after witnessing tragedy, words seem to escape you, and even seem meaningless. Death is one of those things I've resigned myself to never understand.

  2. I think you are absolutely right, Deb...thanks so much for your thoughts.:)

  3. I'm so sorry Carole for you and most definitely for your friend. Cancer is a sobering word to hear and as you know carries a dark and heavy cloud for me. It does seem like there would be nothing to do or say, but there is plenty. Be there for her as I know you will be. Don't let much time go waiting on her call. Sometimes the hardest thing do is to reach out for help when you so need it the most. I'd rather my friend feel like I'm a pest than for her to feel I've forgotten about her. Take care -Jaime

  4. Talking about it is good thearapy.
    I am so sorry to hear about your friend. My husband was diagnosed with lymphoma and leukemia just 3 months ago. He is at a "watch and wait" stage . I cannot imagine the things that are going through your friends mind right now.
    I will pray for her and you take care. Just being there for her and respecting her wishes will mean everything to her.
    God Bless you both

  5. Carole, I am very sorry, I hope things improve for her. Cancer is a horrible disease. Hugs!

  6. Thanks, Pam. I will pass on your hug to her too. :)

  7. I agree with Jaime - that is good advice! And then visit often - you will never regret the time you spend with your friend.

  8. Thanks, Kathy...I was only going to wait a few days to let her process things. I had already called her and left a message. She is not answering her phone at the moment. I tried emailing her too but her email is no longer working. :)